This is me fed up!!

I have been living out of cardboard boxes since April, after the first time I was told my workman's comp case was going to be closed.  I have eaten everything I had in my freezers and cupboards.  I have turned off cable (I really miss my shows but have decided I wont be getting cable again for a very long time, if at all) and gas, and spent the whole morning snuggled under blankets with my critters (which, actually, I do enjoy, ha ha!).  I am fed up with waiting for someone else to make a decision about my life and what I am supposed to do with it.  So I called my lawyer and asked him to close my case, what ever he had to do; I have decided that I want to put myself through school, I AM DONE WAITING.  So my lawyer will get back to me, ha ha ha ha!!!  Figures!!

I'm fed up with my computer, which has been acting funky for some time  now.  I've done everything I can think of, including dumping my hard drive...I'm not even sure I will be able to post this blog.  I have decided that I just need a new computer, I just don't have the memory on this 10 year old thing to be able to do the things I need to be able to do with it.  I have filled every slot for memory sticks (if that is what they are for...I know they fit, but they haven't sped up a thing); I have uninstalled Google Chrome and am using IE, which I really don't like but I never had these problems this bad before I installed Chrome and I had gotten to the point where I have to clear the cache several times a day, still I have to wait 20 minutes for anything to open, IE is just a bit faster.  It has to be the lack of memory because if I had viruses dumping the hard drive should have taken care of that.  So I'm looking for a new computer I can afford, with tons of memory!

I am REALLY fed up with getting sick, so much so that after this last round I went and got a flu shot, for the first time in my life.  I know why I got so sick this time, because I haven't really eaten much in the way of fresh anything.  Processed canned and boxed food lasts a long time, which is why I keep it for emergencies, but that is all I have been living on for most of this year.  So when I went to get the flu shot, I also bought fresh fruit and veges and even a bunch of V8....I will spend the next couple of weeks eating salads.  Not sure if that will help with the head full of snot, I'm hoping the climate in Nevada will help that, it's just too dang wet here in Washington. 

And I am totally fed up with this little town I live in now.  As long as I am on workman's comp I can't even volunteer, which I could if I were on unemployment looking for work.  There are ZERO jobs here, and the closest town that has any jobs is 40 miles away.  I don't have a problem with minimum wage jobs, as long as I can afford a minimum wage job, but I can't travel 80 miles a day on that, and I truly need something to do to keep myself busy. I was going to go to Occupy Kelso (which is the little town next to mine) but when I got so sick last week I knew I couldn't go out and spend any time in the rain.  My resistance is too low right now to do that.

So here I am, still waiting.  And now that I have voiced my personal rantings I think I will call my lawyer again and just bug him until he closes my case and I can get on with my life. 

Just as I thought

Thankfully I didn't get my hopes up about being retrained by workman's comp.  A little glimmer, maybe, but not much more than that.  Since my interview with the vocational rehab counselor I have been checking the workman's comp website religiously and have been watching the progression, little by little, and yesterday there was the paperwork I had expected to see all along.

The voc counselor has determined that I am physically able to work at Old Navy, ringing customers and putting clothes on hangers.  I had to laugh at that.  And my doctor has signed off on it.  Of course she did, because the description she was given was so easy anyone can do it!  And that's ok, as a matter of fact, she's right. I can work at Old Navy for minimum wage while I put myself through school, I might even apply there once I move to Las Vegas!

I was told last year that the vocational department wasn't concerned with how much money I can make once I go back out to the work force, even though I was making just under $20 an hour in my last job, they only care that I can get a job, any job, even if it's pumping gas (which, she did check on, ha ha ha).  I am not broken hearted here, to be honest, I'm almost relieved.  I have been thinking for the last couple of weeks that I think I would rather do this on my own anyway.  I have jumped through enough hoops in the last 3 1/2 years, it's time to get out in the world and spread my wings my way.

So now it's in the hands of workman's comp and I don't expect this to take very long.  I hope it doesn't.  I'm a bit worried about driving a big truck with my car on a trailer behind me through the snowy passes, I'd really like to get going before the snow falls.  Also, I have been getting the holiday decorating fever that I always get this time of the year.  I want to get gone and in a home so I can unpack my spiders and ghosts.

In the mean time, there is nothing left to pack except whatever I use every day.  There is nothing left in the garage, I have recycled everything I had left that I could get any money for and donated the rest.  And since I found myself completely bored out of my mind I splurged $30 on a latch-hook rug and a couple of embroidery kits.  That should keep me busy until I am free to make my move.  Soon soon soon, I hope.