The obstacles before I even begin

This has been a pretty frustrating week.  For starters, I went to Lower Columbia College, where I went in 2009, and applied for my official transcript.  Wait, back up a bit....in Jan 2010 I had to quit school so I could have my spinal fusion.  I had just started my winter classes and I had received my student loan, which I spent on my mortgage payment, so I couldn't just return it.  Well, even though I've been paying on it I still can't get my transcript until it's completely paid off.  Which isn't a problem, I've been paying it because I knew I had to have it paid off to be able to return to school and I only have about $700 left so I'm doing pretty good with that.

But I had also done my taxes wrong for 2009.  I had received unemployment for that year but in the first week of Jan 2010 I paid every dime back.  I had asked what I should do and I was told that if I paid it back I didn't have to claim it.  That was bad advice, I just got a letter from the IRS that I owed about $1200 in taxes for 2009 .  That is after I sent them all my receipts from unemployment.  I'm not sure but I think I can claim that on this years taxes but that's a lot of money out of my pocket right now.  Ok, so I worked that into my budget, it just means I have to turn off cable a little earlier than I thought.  In this little town I live in and even with the HD converter I still can't pick up local stations because I live in a valley between mountains but I have a ton of movies if I get bored and the 2 things I can't really turn off are my phone and Internet if I plan on finding a home online.  If it gets bad enough I guess I can always go to the library and get a boost mobile phone.  

Probably the worst obstacle is my sleeping pattern.  It sucks, to be blunt.  My Mom will tell you, I have never been a morning person but something she might not know is I've always wanted to be.  That's not the problem, the problem is 1st) after all these years of working shift work and mostly the night shift and 2nd) I have a bad snoring problem.  I don't have anything to do yet I am tired all the time, and I'm pretty sure it's because I'm not getting enough sleep at night, even tho I sleep.  So I have been trying those nasal strips, which seem to work alright....except now I've been having strange dreams that trouble me for no particular reason.  I'm hoping this will change when I'm able to do something more creative with myself during the day but sometimes that seems so so far away.  Today I'm feeling a bit blah, like I don't want to even get out of bed.  Yes, I have been diagnosed as clinically depressed but the truth is if your depressed the best thing for you to do is get out of bed, get up and do something (so today I decided to put my thoughts down here, and maybe after this I'll go watch a Will Farrell move or something equally silly).  I do know this will pass, I just can't shake the idea that something is wrong with my ex husband....just because I divorced him doesn't mean I stopped caring, I just couldn't be his co dependent anymore.  I'm also just going to throw this out there but I will not dwell on it, it sucks being in pain.....I may jot a few things down on that another time but not now....

Anyway, when I stepped outside earlier I could smell Fall, just around the corner.  Strange, I never knew you could smell the seasons before they arrived but you can.  I'm going to miss the colors here, every season has so many different colors....I'm not going to miss the FLEAS..... grrrrrrr.... :)